Blue Nights
by Acting-Singing-Bella
Summary: After the birth of his daughter, Simba can't help but grieve his father's death all over again. Can Nala help him heal? Oneshot, please review.


**Blue Nights**

**Author's Note: ****I haven't written on here in a very long time, but my father just passed away and a lot of the emotions and sadness I continue to feel from his loss inspired this story. Please read and review.**

**Summary:**** After the birth of his daughter, Simba can't help but grieve his father's loss all over again. Can Nala bring him back?**

* * *

Simba didn't know what it had meant to love someone without limitations or boundaries, until Nala gave birth to their daughter.

Simba had stayed by Nala's side during the labor and delivery, the first time in the history of the Pride Lands that a king had been present for the birth of an heir. Simba was the perfect mate, supporting and loving Nala throughout the whole birth. When their daughter was born, a perfect ball of fur, Simba and Nala cried without shame. And it didn't take long for Simba to be completely wrapped around Kiara's little paw.

Night had fallen on the Pride Lands, and while it seemed the pride was asleep, Simba was wide-awake. He had Kiara between his paws, watching her intently as her little chest would rise and fall with each breath she took. She was only a few days old, but she was already such a good sleeper. Simba smiled when Kiara cuddled into his chest.

Kiara may have bore a striking resemblance to her mother, but it didn't take long to figure out that this cub had the same wild spirit as her father. Simba knew this little cub like the back of his paw––she inherited his mischievous spirit and curiosity. He could see it in the eyes that he also gave her.

When Kiara began mewling in her sleep, Simba gently licked her downy forehead, followed by a gentle nuzzle. This was his daughter, his blood, his entire world. He was never going to let anything happen to her, or to Nala. He was going to protect his girls, no matter the cost.

Simba felt a deep thud in his chest. His father must've spent nights doing this with him when he was a cub, just watching him sleep, promising to protect him and his mother, looking forward to a future full of adventures together.

The king's eyes became suspiciously blurry as he thought about Mufasa. Simba was now a mighty king, but he felt like a little cub the way he broke remembering his father's death.

Most days, Simba felt strong and brave. But since becoming a father, he just felt sadness and guilt. Some days, Simba just couldn't bring himself to feel happy, even though his life gave him plenty to celebrate.

"Dad…" Simba whispered, before silent tears overcame him. He squeezed his eyes shut, but that did little to stop the tears from cascading down his face.

To keep his daughter from waking, Simba ever so gently placed Kiara under a sleeping Nala's paws and he ran out of the den.

Retreating back to the safety of his cubhood, Simba ran to the top of Pride Rock, where his father would show him the kingdom and teach him about the Circle of Life. He had barely got to the edge when he collapsed into full-blown sobs.

Simba felt his chest burn and heave with all of the tears he'd been holding in, until they came crashing all at once. The tears skated off his chin and hit his chest and his body convulsed with wild shudders. If this was drowning, Simba didn't want to do it twice.

His chest heaving with heavy sobs, Simba looked up to the sky, silently begging for s sign from his father, something that would assure him that he was not alone.

"Simba?" A soft voice said in the darkness. Simba didn't have to turn around; he knew that voice anywhere. It was Nala.

Gingerly, Simba turned around to face his mate. Her eyes were full of worry and concern, but she was still so, so beautiful. Any other night, he would have properly marveled at her.

"Nala. Where's Kiara? Is she okay?" Simba asked, his voice still hiccupping from his tears. Nala walked over to him, her face riddled with apprehension.

"Kiara is fine, our mother's have her. You, however, are not fine," Nala observed as she sat by Simba.

Before Simba could deny Nala's accusation, he collapsed into a fit of tears yet again. He didn't bother talking, knowing full well that not a single word would come out.

Nala whispered his name in a voice so loving and comforting that Simba felt safe enough to be vulnerable, to not have to pretend that he wasn't hurting. He turned his head to Nala and cried ferociously into her shoulder, his racking sobs scaring even him.

Nala gently hushed and nuzzled him, silently assuring him that he was safe and she was there to love him through whatever he was going through. She didn't rush him or try to force him to talk. Nala understood that Simba had been trying to be strong for too long and she needed him to understand that she wanted to be his safe place.

Time escaped them. While Simba still cried, they had greatly reduced in volume and he wasn't hiccupping half as much. Nala stopped nuzzling her mate and she sighed quietly.

"Simba, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"She's never going to know him," Simba whispered coarsely, silent tears matting his fur. Nala furrowed her brows together.

"Who are you talking about, Simba?"

Nala's mate pulled away from her briefly so he could look into her eyes. Simba looked completely broken, and Nala knew in that moment what the answer to her question was.

"Kiara will never know my father," Simba finally said, his voice a broken whisper.

Nala sighed quietly and she nuzzled Simba as affectionately as she could. She licked his tear-soaked cheeks.

"Oh my love, of course she will know Mufasa. He lives in you, and she will know exactly who he was through your memories and stories. You will keep him alive for her," Nala reminded him in a loving voice. It broke her heart to see the lion she so desperately loved hurt like this.

Rather than seeing Simba be comforted by her words, he had squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, turning away from her.

"You don't get it, Nala. Everything is just wrong," Simba said, his voice hurried and shaky. Nala followed Simba as he continued to nervously pace.

"Help me to understand! I see you hurting and I want to help you, because I love you. Kiara deserves a father who isn't being held hostage by the past," Nala exclaimed.

At the mention of his daughter, Simba stopped in his tracks. Nala was right; Kiara deserved everything. It was his and Nala's job to provide that for her. Simba never once doubted Nala––he knew that she was an incredible mother and queen that Kiara could look up to. But Simba as a father? He felt he had incredibly big paws to fit into.

Avoiding eye contact with his mate, Simba looked up at the stars, his eyes fixated on the biggest and brightest one. This was one of the many moments in his life that he wished that his father were there with him, rather than up in the stars with the Great Kings of the Past.

"My father was the greatest king the Pride Lands had ever known. He was wise, fair, diplomatic and just a natural leader, you know? But to me, he was just my dad. When he wasn't tending to his royal duties, he always made sure that he was involved with my life. He always made time for play, no matter what," Simba recalled sadly.

A soft smile ghosted across Nala's face as she walked over to Simba and sat beside him. He still couldn't look at her, but her eyes were set on him.

"I remember, Simba. Your dad would sometimes let me join you guys. All of the cubs were so jealous that Mufasa was your dad––myself included. We all wished that Mufasa would adopt us," Nala shared with a soft giggle.

Nala grew hopeful when she saw a weak smile on Simba's face, but it quickly fell.

"Dad loved cubs. One night when he thought I was asleep, I overheard my dad talking to my mom about having another cub just before…" Simba's voice drifted off.

Nala put her paw over his and nuzzled him gently. "Your dad loved you, Simba. You were everything he wanted and more."

"There was something else I know that he wanted." Simba admitted in a shaky voice. Nala raised her eyebrows and inched closer to Simba.

"What is it Simba?"

When he didn't answer right away, Nala assumed that Simba had given up on trying to explain himself. Even though he was always honest and affectionate with her, Nala also knew that Simba at times got overwhelmed by his emotions and could only cope by retreating further into himself. She wanted to respect his space, but Nala was at times scared that Simba would not be able to find his way back to her.

"Kiara," Simba said in a voice so quiet, Nala wasn't quite sure she heard him correctly. She blinked twice, hard.

"Kiara?" Nala asked, bewildered.

Simba unleashed a heavy sigh and he closed his eyes, only seeing his father in the darkness.

"Do you remember when we were cubs and we didn't want to be betrothed?" Simba asked as he opened his eyes and looked over at his mate. Nala gave a soft smile followed by a nod.

"Of course. If only our younger selves could see us now," Nala said jokingly, which garnered a weak smile from Simba.

"Well, I never you this, but my dad and I had a talk about it. I remember just asking him if we had to be mates, why he couldn't just change the law," Simba paused to catch his breath, which had become shaky and uneasy. Nala ran her paw up through his ruddy mane.

"What did he say?"

"First, he just said what he usually always said about it. That we were young, that we would realize our feelings when we were older. But then, he said something that just…shook me."

He gave Nala a hesitant look, unsure if he should continue. With a loving smile, Nala nodded, encouraging Simba to continue. Taking a deep breath, Simba recounted the memory that had been weighing heavily on his heart.

"He told me that he wanted grand-cubs that he could take care of and love, just as much as he loved me," Simba said, before he collapsed into a fit of tears.

Nala's paw lingered in the air for a moment before rubbing Simba's shoulder. It was going to take more than a gentle touch, more than a loving word and freshly killed gazelle, more than a night under the stars to make things better. Sometimes being a wife just isn't enough.

Knowing that words weren't always necessary, Nala leaned into Simba and nuzzled him, allowing him to freely cry into her neck. She didn't realize that he had been trying for so long to stay strong, and wanted him to feel safe to fall apart so she could help him put himself back together again. She lovingly licked his tear soaked cheeks.

"Mufasa would've been such a wonderful grandfather to Kiara," Nala whispered. Though still sobbing, Simba managed a shaky laugh and a nod.

"He probably would've let Kiara get away with more than he let me get away with as a cub," Simba said as he leaned into Nala's embrace.

"I still think that he would have been fair with her, just how he was with you. She's lucky to have him as her grandfather," Nala said, emphasizing the present tense she was using. Simba noticed, and sighed heavily.

"Nala, I just…I know she will have stories. Between my mom, you, the entire Pride Lands, and me, Kiara will know who her grandfather was. But it's not the same as her actually getting to know him, and getting to talk to him. Turns out the living version of someone is always better."

Nala pulled away from Simba and she walked in front of him, so he had no choice but to look into her cerulean eyes.

"Simba, can I tell you something that my mother told me after my father died?" Nala asked, waiting for Simba's response. He gently nodded. Nala went on.

"Love is made of energy, and energy cannot die." Simba felt his heart thud hard against his chest. Nala leaned forward and put a paw over Simba's.

"I know what grief is like, Simba. I know that there is nothing that I can say or do that will completely take your pain away. But I know how much you loved Mufasa, and how much he loved you. No one can take that away from you––not even death," Nala said, staring intently into Simba's eyes. Lone tears still made their way down Simba's cheeks.

"But, I…" Simba started to say until Nala gently put a paw to his lips, silencing him.

"You will do everything to make sure Kiara knows Mufasa," Nala said. "When Kiara is old enough, take her up here and show her the stars, introduce her to Mufasa. That will not only help her feel closer to Mufasa, but you as well."

Simba stared at Nala, his heavy heart now feeling lighter with each beat. She had saved him many times in his life––literally and metaphorically. Simba didn't think that he could possibly love Nala more, but there she was again, surprising him.

He cupped her cheek in his paw and gave a loving smile.

"How did I get so lucky to have you?" Simba whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers. Nala smiled and snuggled Simba affectionately.

"I could say the exact same thing about you, my love. Can you promise me something?" Nala asked, looking up at Simba. He nodded against her forehead.

"Anything, Nala."

"Whenever you're sad about your father, will you please talk about it? The more you bottle this up inside of you, the more damage it is going to do to you and the ones you love," Nala said, her voice full of love and concern.

"I promise, I'll communicate with you more."

"I'm glad to hear that, Simba. I also think that it would do you some good to talk to Rafiki about what you're going through a few times a week. He's so wise and knows what to do and say to heal," Nala assured her mate, who looked weary at the suggestion. Nala felt herself relax when Simba smiled and nodded.

"I will do whatever it takes to be a more present and loving mate to you and father to Kiara. I love you Nala," Simba said, like it was the most important thing in the world. Nala nuzzled Simba lovingly.

"I love you too, Simba. And Kiara loves you, too. And I know that any other cubs we have will love you too."

Simba raised his eyebrows and his familiar smile flashed across his face.

"Already thinking about more cubs, eh?" Simba asked. Nala shrugged her shoulders and returned the smile.

"You make it hard for me not to think about having more cubs," Nala replied with a sly smile. Simba managed a weak laugh before he nuzzled Nala again. He affectionately licked her cheek.

"Thank you for tonight, Nala. Talking really helped," Simba whispered into Nala's ear. She licked his cheek.

"I'm here, no matter what. C'mon, let's go back to bed. It's getting late," Nala said as she walked to the path that would bring them back to the den. Simba quickly followed Nala.

When they got back into the den, Simba and Nala found Kiara sleeping beside Sarabi. Swiftly, Simba picked her up and carried her back to the bedrock at the back of the den, a spot that had been reserved for the royal family for generations.

Nala stretched down in her usual spot, watching as Simba gently placed a sleeping Kiara down. Lying down, Simba protectively wrapped his paws around his sleeping daughter. Nala reached a paw over and rubbed Simba's muscular shoulder.

"You'll get some sleep, my love?" Nala asked, knowing that Simba was strong, but still needed reassurance. Simba nodded as he leaned over and licked the top of her head.

"I'm going to sleep now. Good night. I love you," Simba said, resting his head next to Kiara's.

"I love you too," Nala whispered as she, too, put her head down and shut her eyes, falling into a slumber.

Though he promised Nala he would rest, Simba did not go to sleep right away. Again, he resumed watching his daughter sleep again. His head close to hers, he listened to her gentle breathing, tried picturing what kind of marvellous life she would have. No matter what path Kiara took, Simba knew that he would be there to guide her. And he knew that her grandfather would be guiding her in his own special way.

When the sun would rise, Simba would do fulfill his kingly duties by doing his morning patrols with Zazu, and tending to whatever business he needed to. Simba then made a mental note to drop by Rafiki's tree so he could talk about these feelings of guilt and sadness that he had been feeling since Kiara's birth.

After that, he would do whatever he wanted. Kiara would only be this little for such a short period of time, and he didn't want to miss any of it. Tomorrow after dinner, Simba decided that he and Nala would take Kiara to the top of Pride Rock, and they would stargaze, and Simba and Nala would likely find Kiara's cub-like gestures and confusion cute. And Simba would take Kiara into his arms, point at the biggest and brightest star in the sky, and introduce her to her grandfather. Simba would do everything he could to make sure that Mufasa was an important figure in his daughter's life.

Closing his eyes, Simba snuggled Kiara, silently promising her that he would always be a good father to her. Just like Mufasa was for him.

**The End**

* * *

_**This was for you dad––I love and miss you. Please review! **_


End file.
